Thursday, September 16, 2010

The missing piece

So simple a cue sets him off
It starts so easily, a song, a sight,
a symmetry of what was once normal.
a flash of bitter memory
playing over in his head on repeat
but he is only reminded of how

it ends.

A simple raindrop sparks the flood,
he fights against memory,
he wants to forget, to fight
against the waterfall of heartache
still pouring over his mind,
around what used to be

his heart.

The harder he fights the deeper
he falls into the trance of a
never ceasing, never ending
spiral staircase of what could have been.
He searches for the right patch
to sow on, an adequate cry

for help.

He doesn't know where to start
it's a constant search for
the beginning of an explanation
that will help, that could fix,
could patch the hole he knows is there,
could recover the missing piece of


Monday, September 13, 2010

"Live Life"

There are many perplexing things that come with a new chapter of life. At college, everyone starts with blank slate and all premonitions are forgotten or not cared about. Everyone knows everyone else is new to this too and people lose their awkwardness and make the conscious decision to put themselves out there. It was amazing to see how quickly relationships and groups formed here.

Davidson is a place of study. Students come ready to study, ready to do work, not ready to socialize. Students actually turn to work first before EVERYTHING else (at least the freshmen do). Davidson is it's own community and if I needed to, there would be no need for me to leave campus for months at a time, but me, I have to get out sometimes. I have to get in my car and listen to my music and think back to memories. What I miss most is not a person, not a friend, or a memory, but knowing who my friends are, and who can help me with what needs I have. Friendship takes time and it the only slow part of Davidson is that friendships have not formed that deep level of intimacy where friends are eager to become vulnerable with each other and seek out help among friends. I know it takes time but I just wish I could skip the stage and get to that level of intimacy.

However, people are ready to be friends and be friendly. Everyone comes with different backgrounds but with the same anticipation of what kind of group they want to be in. It seems as if God has acutely placed encouragements in my life to get me breezily through the first few weeks and I am ever so thankful. At my most disappointing moments, a package of goodies arrived for me and a card from a much beloved friend. It is these things that I look forward to getting one day from the people here at Davidson.

I had a revelation sitting in the lounge of the girls hall below us. There were about 2o people in the room, and I wondered how many of these people's weddings I would attend within the next 10 years. Funny to think about how fast our lives are changing. How ready will we be for these changes and what do we do to prepare?

I am constantly brought back to a phrase a good friend from back home constantly reminds me that is so meaningful yet so simple. This phrase has been on the forefront of my mind for my whole time and it is what I want to leave this post with. As an encouragement to everyone reading and to myself. Never forget to sometimes sit back and

"Live Life"